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17 November 2020 @ 09:26 pm

If you're here for my scanlations, visit sugarparade instead. I will no longer reply to membership requests here. If you want an invite, read the rules here and comment on that post.

Drop a note or comment here if you want me to add you-- but tell me who you are first or just tell me how you found me! Thanks!
Current Mood: cynicalcynical
Current Music: Bump of Chicken - Mayday
10 November 2020 @ 02:34 pm
Deleted inactive people from my f-list, leave a message if you've come back and want to be re-added. :)
Current Mood: fullfull
Current Music: SPYAIR - Naked
17 May 2014 @ 09:33 pm

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17 March 2014 @ 05:44 pm

English Translations by hontonohonto @ tumblr, kazeyumi @ lj

あなたを乗せた飛行機が   あなたの行きたい場所まで
どうかあまり揺れないで   無事に着きますように
On that plane you're on   Up to that place you want to be
Please don't let it be too turbulent a flight   Please arrive safely

最近は別に元気じゃない   それが平常で不満もない
生活に変化は求めない   現実とマンガは重ねない
I haven't been particularly happy recently   But that's normal everyday and I'm not complaining
I'm not hoping for a change in my lifestyle   Real life and manga are two different things

いつまで続けるの   終わりがあるものなの
How long will I be able to continue   Is is something that has an end?
My head is always busy

心はずっと   もうずっと
絶え間無く叫んで   私を叫んで
たとえ耳を塞いでも   聴こえてしまうんだ
ただ怖いだけなんだ   不自由じゃなくなるのが
守られていた事を   思い知らされるのが
My heart is always   Has always been
Constantly yelling   Yelling to me
Even if I close my ears   I can still hear it
I'm just scared   That it won't be difficult anymore
Of realizing what   I have been protecting

自分で選んできたのに 選ばされたと思いたい
一歩も動いちゃいないのに ここがどこかさえ怪しい
Even though I had chosen it   I want to believe I was forced to choose
I haven't moved an inch   Yet where I am now is already a complete mystery

あなたを乗せた飛行機が   私の行けない場所まで
せめて空は泣かないで   優しく晴れますように
On that plane you're on   To the place I can't get to
At the very least, I hope the sky won't cry   Please have gentle, clear skies

どこまでごまかすの   誰に許されたいの
To what extent are you pretending   Are you waiting for forgiveness
Your head is definitely lying to you

心はきっと   もっとずっと
遠くを見ていて   近くに見ていて
閉じた瞼の裏側に   映してしまうんだ
まだ憧れちゃうんだ   自由と戦う日々を
性懲りもなく何度も   描いてしまうんだ
My heart is always   Has always been
Looking at a far distance   From a near place
Beneath shut eyelids   I can still see it
I end up longing for it again   My days of fighting for freedom
Incorrigibly, over and over again   I still make a picture of it

求めない   重ねない   望まない   筈がない
生きているから   生きているなら
I won't wish for it   I won't associate with it   I won't hope for it   I won't expect anything
Because I'm alive   If I'm alive

残酷な程自由だ   逃げようのない事実なんだ
震える手でその足で   全てを決めるんだ
絶え間無く叫んで   あなたを見ていて
それを続けた心で   あなたは選んだんだ
I'm so free it's cruel   It's a reality I can't run away from
With those trembling hands and feet   You have to decide everything
Constantly yelling   Watching you
Having a heart that is able to go on   Was a choice you made

あなたを乗せた飛行機が   私の行きたい場所まで
あなたを乗せた飛行機が   私の行きたい場所まで
On that plane you're on   To that place I want to go
On that plane you're on   To that place I want to go
13 March 2014 @ 12:11 pm

English Translations by hontonohonto @ tumblr, kazeyumi @ lj

お別れしたのはもっと   前の事だったような
悲しい光は封じ込めて   踵すり減らしたんだ
It seems like a long time ago   when we parted with each other
Shutting the sorrowful light in   until it eventually died down

君といた時は見えた   今は見えなくなった
透明な彗星をぼんやりと   でもそれだけ探している
I've seen it during times we were together   now I can't seem to anymore
Vaguely, that invisible comet   but i'm looking for it now more than ever

しょっちゅう唄を歌ったよ   その時だけのメロディーを
寂しくなんかなかったよ   ちゃんと寂しくなれたから
I frequently sang songs   singing only melodies of back then
I didn't feel lonely at all   because I'm already used to loneliness

いつまでどこまでなんて   正常か異常かなんて
考える暇も無い程   歩くのは大変だ
楽しい方がずっといいよ   ごまかして笑っていくよ
大丈夫だ あの痛みは   忘れたって消えやしない
Any time and any where   what is normal and what is strange
I'm too busy to think about it   that even walking has become too troublesome
It's so much better just to have fun   Just play along and smile
Don't worry   That pain won't go away even if you forget

理想で作った道を   現実が塗り替えていくよ
思い出はその軌跡の上で   輝きになって残っている
A road made by ideals   will be repainted by reality
But the memories that were built on those tracks   will remain radiant

お別れしたのは何で   何のためだったんだろうな
悲しい光が僕の影を   前に長く伸ばしている
Why did we have to part?   For what reason was it again?
The sorrowful light stretched my shadow longer than it was before

時々熱が出るよ   時間がある時眠るよ
夢だと解るその中で   君と会ってからまた行こう
Sometimes I can get sick   If i have time I shut my eyes
While knowings it's a dream   let's go again once we meet

晴天とはほど遠い   終わらない暗闇にも
星を思い浮かべたなら   すぐ銀河の中だ
あまり泣かなくなっても   靴を新しくしても
大丈夫だ あの痛みは   忘れたって消えやしない
Seems like fine weather won't be for a long time   but even under unending darkness
If you think of stars   you'll be in the galaxy in no time
You don't need to cry   even if you start anew
Don't worry   that pain won't disappear even if you forget

伝えたかった事が   きっとあったんだろうな
恐らくありきたりなんだろうけど   こんなにも
I'm sure I had something I wanted to convey
I'm sure it's something ordinary   so ordinary

お別れした事は   出会った事と繋がっている
あの透明な彗星は   透明だから無くならない
Our parting was connected to when we first met
That invisible comet   can't disappear because it's invisible

◯×△どれかなんて   皆と比べてどうかなんて
確かめる間も無い程   生きるのは最高だ
あまり泣かなくなっても   ごまかして笑っていくよ
大丈夫だ あの痛みは   忘れたって消えやしない
Choosing between ◯×△   comparing all three of them
I don't have time to make sure   that's how much being alive rocks
You don't have to cry that much   Just play along and smile
Don't worry   That pain won't go away even if you forget

大丈夫だ   この光の始まりには   君がいる
Don't worry   In the beginning of that light   You are there
06 March 2014 @ 04:06 pm
Dear Man

English Translations by hontonohonto @ tumblr, kazeyumi @ lj

怖がりな少年  どんどんギターを歪ませた
他人は少しも  解ってくれなかった
5Wのアンプが  なるべく小さく絶叫した
閉め切った窓  三日月が覗いてた

The scared boy   steadily distorted his guitar
no one ever bothered   to understand him one bit.
his 5W amplifier   screamed as quietly as it possibly could
beneath shut windows   a crescent moon peeped in.

布団被ってイヤホン  ラジオなかなかのボリュームで
キラキラした音が  体を走り回った
大好きなシンガー  なんで好きなのか解らない
目を閉じれば  すぐ側にいた  確かに
Hiding beneath the covers of his bed, his headphones on   listening to the radio with ample volume
the glistening sounds   ran all over his body
he loved this singer   though he had no idea why
he closes his eyes   and the he was right beside him   definitely

その声とこの耳だけ  たった今世界に二人だけ
まぶたの向こう側なんか  置いてけぼりにして
That voice and these ears   are the only ones that exist in this earth at the moment
Leaving alone   what's beyond his closed eyelids

どこにだって行ける  僕らはここにいたままで
心は死なないから  あの雲のように遠くまで
何にだってなれる  今からだって気分次第
退屈なシナリオも  力ずくで書き直せる
We can go where ever we want   without moving an inch from here
Because our hearts won't die   we can go as far as the clouds
We can be whatever we want   do whatever we feel like doing
Even boring scenarios   can be rewritten with sheer strength

何も知らないんだ 多分  全然足りないんだ  まだ
We don't know anything, maybe. It's not at all enough yet.

「常に誰かと一緒  似たような恰好 無駄に声がでかい」
「話題は繰り返し  ジョークはテレビで見た」
「語り合い  励まし合い  ケンカする  仲間が大事」
そういうのを見下している  腹の底
"Constantly together with someone   having a similar look   with voices that's excessively loud"
"Talking about the same jokes they see on TV."
"Communication   Encouragement   Arguments   friends are important"
He belittled those things from the bottom of his heart.

怖がりな少年  どんどん自分を強くした
キラキラしたものの  裏側を疑った
変わってしまったシンガー  昔のようには歌わない
がっかりした そのうちなくした  興味を
The scared boy   he steadily strengthened himself
Doubting anything   that didn't glisten
The singer had changed   he didn't sing like he did before
Disappointed, he eventually lost all interest.

易々と気は許さないさ  紛い物ばかりに囲まれて
まぶたのこちら側で  ずっと本物だけ見てる
He doesn't let his feelings slide so easily   he was surrounded with nothing but fakes
The inside part of his eyelids   had only seen truths

大勢の人がいて  ほとんど誰の顔も見ない
生活は続くから  大切な事だってあるから
情報が欲しくて  ドアからドアへと急いで
心は待てないから  どうせ雲のように消えるから
There are millions of people   but he barely looks at any of them
Because life goes on   Because he still had things he holds dear
He wanted information   he hurried from one door to another
Because the heart won't wait   Just like clouds, it will probably just pass and disappear anyway

何も知らないんだ  多分  全然足りないんだ まだ
We don't know anything, maybe. It's not at all enough yet.

変われなかった少年  昔のようには笑えない
そういう意味では  変わったと言えるのかも
何に勝ちたいのか  どんどん自分を強くした
解ろうとしないから  解ってくれなかった
The boy who couldn't change   didn't smile like he did before
Though in that sense   you can probably say that he's not the same as before
Who knows who he's trying beat   he steadily strengthened himself
He never tried to understand   so he never did.

変われなかったシンガー  同じ事しか歌えない
それを好きだった頃の自分は  きっと好きだった
5Wのアンプが  小さいながらも絶叫した
目を開けたら  全てを側にいた 未だに
The singer who couldn't change   could only sing the same songs
The younger me who loved those songs   would have certainly loved them.
His 5W amplifier   screamed as quietly as it possibly could
When he opened his eyes   everything was right beside him   until this very day.

懐かしむ事はない  少年はずっと育ってない
昔話でもない  他人事でもない  でもしょうがない
何にだってなれない  何を着ようと中身自分自身
読み馴れたシナリオの  その作者と同じ人
He didn't yearn for anything   the boy was never raised
It's not some folklore   nor is it someone else's business but what can you do?
He couldn't be anything   no matter what he put on, his insides are still him
It's the same person   as the author who has rewritten this scenario over and over

アンプは絶叫した  懸命に少年に応えた
シンガーは歌った  イヤホンから少年へと
どこにだって行ける  僕らはここにいたままで
心は消えないから  あの雲のように何度でも
The amplifier screamed   earnestly responding to the boy
The singer sang   from the earphones to the boy
We can go where ever we want   without moving an inch from here
Our hearts won't disappear   Just as the clouds didn't

何も知らないんだ  多分  全然足りないんだ まだ
その声とこの耳だけ  この声とその耳だけ
We don't know anything, maybe. It's not at all enough yet.
Only that voice and these ears   Only this voice and those ears
27 February 2014 @ 03:51 pm

Niji wo Matsu Hito
People who wait for the rainbow

Translations by Me.

眠れなかった体に     音が飛び込んで走る
目を閉じれば真っ暗     自分で作る色
In a body that couldn’t sleep     sounds jumped in and ran about
When you shut your eyes it’s completely black     a color you created on your own

言えないままの痛みが     そっと寄り添って歌う
使い古した感情は     壊れたって動く
Pain that you can’t express out loud     softly comes closer and begins to sing
Already worn out feelings     moves despite being broken

見えない壁で囲まれた部屋     命に触れて確かめている
Trapped in a room with a wall you can’t see     touch your life and you can be certain**

開けようとしないから     知らなかっただけ
That door doesn’t have a key
You never tried to open it     so you never knew
That you were free from the very beginning

冷たいままの痛みが     そっと寄り添って祈る
冷たいままの体を     温めようとしている
Pain that remained cold     gently came closer and started to pray
Trying to warm up     that body that had been cold

生きようとする体を     音は隅まで知っている
目を開けたって同じ     自分で作る色
Sounds will know a body that tries to live     from every little corner
even if you open your eyes it will be the same     a color you created on your own

見えない壁が見えた時には     その先にいる人が見える
Once you’ve started seeing that invisible wall     you’ll start seeing the people beyond it

虹を呼ぶ雨の下     皆同じ雨の下
うまく手は繋げない     それでも笑う
Calling for a rainbow under the rain     everyone is under the rain
You struggle to hold hands with them     but laugh anyway
While waiting for the same rainbow

あるいは気付いていて     怖かっただけ
Perhaps you’ve already realized     you were just frightened
That where ever you are, you’ve always been free

うまく手は繋げない     それでも笑う
That door doesn’t have a key
You struggle at holding their hands     but you laugh anyway
While waiting for the same rainbow

**I had a hard time phrazing this. It sounds awkward like that but I couldn’t think of a more accurate and nice sounding way to say it. haha.

Anyway. BOC and their doors and keys. And how much feels this song is giving me rn. :c
26 July 2013 @ 05:23 pm

ほんとのほんと (Honto no honto)
The True Truth

English Translation by hontonohonto @ tumblr, kazeyumi @ lj

尖った言葉がいくつか 壁にぶつかって 転がって冷えた
ざわついたまま 静かになって 時間だけがすり抜けた
A few sharp words were hit against a wall, they rolled away and grew cold
while making so much noise, it became quiet, and only time slipped through

誰かが誰か傷つけて だからどちらも 傷ついて
お揃いの気持ちで 離れながら お揃いの気持ちで側にいた
one hurts another, so both of them get hurt
a pair of feelings, although apart, are right beside each other

声が聞きたくて なかなか声が出せなくて
心は何度も 呼んでいるのに
I wanted to hear a voice, but I couldn't let out a voice
no matter how many times this heart called out

怖くて痛くて惨めでも大事で 隠して鍵かけて 忘れたふりして
守ってきた ほんとのほんとが 二人分でずっと 呼び合っているのに
it's frightening, and painful and miserable, yet so important, I hid it, put a lock on it and pretended to forget
I protected the true truth even though the two of us were calling out to each other

大人の顔をしてから 生き方がちょっと 雑になった
普通の事だし 普通が大変で 時間に大体運ばれた
while wearing an adult's face, my way of life had become a little rough
it's everyday life, but everyday life is difficult, consisting of just being carried away by time

尖った言葉が的確に 胸を貫いて 転がって冷えた
何も出来ないよ 震えながら 押さえつけていくのだろう
sharp words precisely hit through a heart, rolled away and grew cold
unable to do anything, trembling, I tried to repress it as hard as I could

側にいる意味を考えて なかなか辿り着けなくて
体はとっくに 解っているのに
I wondered what it was beside me for, but I couldn't arrive at an answer
even though my body had already known for a long time

生まれた時くらいの裸の声で 動物のままで 育たない声で
鏡みたいに 同時に触って
the raw voice that I've had since the time I was born, an untamed voice, much like an animal's
touching each other simultaneously as if in front of a mirror

今が終われば今までに戻って それでもいいよ 今の続きなら
守っていく ほんとのほんとが 一度でもちゃんと 抱き合えた
if right now ends, we'll be back to how it has been, but that's fine as long as it's a continuation of today
I'll protect the true truth, and even just once, I will embrace it.

分けられない ほんとのほんとが 二人分でずっと
the true truth, of two, forever inseparable.

a song for you and your real self. :)
07 March 2013 @ 06:00 pm
Hey guys! Just dropped by to tell y'all that I've moved to blogspot.

It's a public blog though so I'll still come home to LJ for my more private posts. :)
05 February 2013 @ 02:52 pm
That and 紅い流星 were too sweet.
We took them to Intramuros, Bonifacio High street, Greenhills and made them try halo-halo!

I'm so much poorer now, but I'm still extremely happy to have been able to spend time with them!

We expected more people to come to their concert, but all of us had a blast and the fans who made it were crazy & awesome.

They want to return in November. I'm excited! I miss them already. </3 Also the way That looks at me with a smiles and asks "ん?なぁに?" every time we spazz in Tagalog still gets to me. HAY. :)) 一生忘れない!
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